Dane Barbados Jr. on: Paris Hilton

I see the people are all so interested in Paris Hilton. I see the people salivating over her and calling her "hot." I, Dane Barbados Jr., must admit that this speaks to the overall stupidity of the people.
Who is this Paris Hilton? She is nothing. She is clearly the union of a horse and an ostritch. She possesses the body of a fourteen year old czech male prostitute and the nose of a punchdrunk Jew.

Your musician Tommy Lee once said that he would never fornicate with this pettycoat strumpet because, as he said, she had "ugly feet." Tommy Lee is a sage beyond reproach. This Hilton trollop does indeed look as if she walks along burning boulders for a living and smashes her hooves with a hammer for a hobby.

I will show the people what she really looks like so that you may marvel in shame as that whom you desire.

All though her fellatial skills, as seen in her so-called "sex-tape" look to be phenomenal I care not for this Paris Hilton. Who would want for such when your list of "booty calls" is filled with princesses and queens as mine is? Feh. Paris Hilton disgusts me as do you all.

You may sit in the corner and cry in shame for your idolotry now.