Dane Barbados Remembers: University, Part I
I came to this America to study in one of your Universities. Whist there I drank, smoke and rutted amongst your females as much as I saw fit. It was at University that I first discovered the wonderful world of "pranking" the people.
I, Dane Barbados Jr., will tell the people a story. One that it is quite true.
Whilst at University there was a mongrel of a young man whom I simply did not like. The reasons why matter naught, he was simply below Dane Barbados Jr. We shall call this young man what he was called then: Ratticus Rex.
Ratticus' roommate was a distributer of what is called "weed." As I am a fan of such things we spent a fair amount of time together. For a period of three weeks as a postlude to the smoking of the weed I would sit upon Ratticus' bed, take his sheets and pillow and rub them vigorously against my anus and the space betwixt the anus and testicles which you people call the "grundle." He was not aware of my actions.
Lo and behold came the holiday "Easter." For this particular Easter Ratticus' female companion (though her femininity is somewhat suspect) "Hobbit Head" purchased for him a large rabbit made from chocolate.
Well needless to say that in a fit of finest vodka, nicotine and narcotics that I, Dane Barbados Jr., could think of no finer idea then to give said rabbit the same treatment that I had given said sheets. After I was done annointing the rabbit I replaced the foil and replaced the rabbit.
Shortly afterwards R.R.'s roommate summoned me, convulsing with laughter to his hovel. When I arrived I was greeted with the sight of the horrid couple feasting upon the tainted rabbit. People I tell you, Dane Barbados Jr. has never laughed harder in his life.
And thus the legend of the "Grundle Bunny" was born.
Some days I miss the University.
p.s. Yes I told Ratticus of the horrors that were subjected upon his rabbit. No, he did not believe me. Yes I continued to annoint his bedware.
I, Dane Barbados Jr., will tell the people a story. One that it is quite true.
Whilst at University there was a mongrel of a young man whom I simply did not like. The reasons why matter naught, he was simply below Dane Barbados Jr. We shall call this young man what he was called then: Ratticus Rex.
Ratticus' roommate was a distributer of what is called "weed." As I am a fan of such things we spent a fair amount of time together. For a period of three weeks as a postlude to the smoking of the weed I would sit upon Ratticus' bed, take his sheets and pillow and rub them vigorously against my anus and the space betwixt the anus and testicles which you people call the "grundle." He was not aware of my actions.
Lo and behold came the holiday "Easter." For this particular Easter Ratticus' female companion (though her femininity is somewhat suspect) "Hobbit Head" purchased for him a large rabbit made from chocolate.
Well needless to say that in a fit of finest vodka, nicotine and narcotics that I, Dane Barbados Jr., could think of no finer idea then to give said rabbit the same treatment that I had given said sheets. After I was done annointing the rabbit I replaced the foil and replaced the rabbit.
Shortly afterwards R.R.'s roommate summoned me, convulsing with laughter to his hovel. When I arrived I was greeted with the sight of the horrid couple feasting upon the tainted rabbit. People I tell you, Dane Barbados Jr. has never laughed harder in his life.
And thus the legend of the "Grundle Bunny" was born.
Some days I miss the University.
p.s. Yes I told Ratticus of the horrors that were subjected upon his rabbit. No, he did not believe me. Yes I continued to annoint his bedware.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 3:16 PM
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