Dane Barbados Jr. on: Harry Potter and the Who the Fuck Cares
Yes I know that I have not kept my posting schedule. Alas I was busy studying the fornicative arts with a set of nubile triplets. Feel free to envy me.
Upon the television yesterday I see the people. I see them in zombie like states. I see them in manic throes of orgasmic ecstasy. I see them look but a hair away from homicidal rages. And all of these people are in line for the newest Harry Potter novel.
I, Dane Barbados Jr., must ask: Who the fuck cares?
Obviously someone cares but those people do not qualify as humans to Dane Barbados Jr. They are naught but creatures constructed purely for my enjoyment.
Dane Barbados Jr. is a great fan of fine fiction. Dane Barbados Jr. can understand the people's enjoyment of literature.
Dane Barbados Jr. can not understand waiting in line for hours for the release of a book. It's a book. It's really not going anywhere.
Dane Barbados Jr. can not understand reading all six hundred and some pages in a single night. It's a book. It's really not going anywhere.
These people clearly have no lives, no friends, no jobs, no purpose in living other than to be laughed at. I urge the people to grant their wish.
Next person you see obsessively reading the newest Harry Potter novel you should do what I would do: take the book, spit betwixt it's pages, push down the reader and, if possible, urinate into their upturned faces. Then, and only then, you should extend your arm and index finger in a pointing motion and laugh.
Upon the television yesterday I see the people. I see them in zombie like states. I see them in manic throes of orgasmic ecstasy. I see them look but a hair away from homicidal rages. And all of these people are in line for the newest Harry Potter novel.
I, Dane Barbados Jr., must ask: Who the fuck cares?
Obviously someone cares but those people do not qualify as humans to Dane Barbados Jr. They are naught but creatures constructed purely for my enjoyment.
Dane Barbados Jr. is a great fan of fine fiction. Dane Barbados Jr. can understand the people's enjoyment of literature.
Dane Barbados Jr. can not understand waiting in line for hours for the release of a book. It's a book. It's really not going anywhere.
Dane Barbados Jr. can not understand reading all six hundred and some pages in a single night. It's a book. It's really not going anywhere.
These people clearly have no lives, no friends, no jobs, no purpose in living other than to be laughed at. I urge the people to grant their wish.
Next person you see obsessively reading the newest Harry Potter novel you should do what I would do: take the book, spit betwixt it's pages, push down the reader and, if possible, urinate into their upturned faces. Then, and only then, you should extend your arm and index finger in a pointing motion and laugh.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 2:19 AM
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