Dane Barbados Jr. Recalls: A Conversation with Wheels

So, today, your Humble Narrator was at a certain establishment again in order to sample the models during a photosession for a calendar pictorial.

With the presence of nubile young specimens and ample free-food it was only a matter of time before Wheels graced us with his illustrious presence and an ear-piercing wail of:

"AAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! You'll never guess what I did last night..."

Now Dane Barbados Jr. knew immediately that some manner of filth and sundry was to follow so he stood mute. His compatriots however were not so wise.

"Nah, nah I won't tell you," Wheels continued, "it might be to kinky for you."

Now (let's call him Sam) Sam egged Wheels on to continue the story while Dane Barbados Jr. inhaled deeply upon his Camel Light waiting for the hammer to fall.

He was not disappointed when Wheels continued:

"So yeah...you got a dog right?"

This was, predictably, met with aghast looks from those not named Dane Barbados Jr. who were in attendance.

"So yeah, skeet on this. I was in my bed and my dog came in (she's a female dog) and I called her over to me."

"She was begging and begging to be fed right guy? But I was in bed and I didn't have any food. So I thought to myself 'what else does a dog like other than food?' So I took my thumb--this thumb right here--"

When he said this Wheels illustrated his point by grinding the thumb in question into the arm of one of the unfortunate gentlemen (I use the term loosely) in attendance, an act which (if performed on Dane Barbados Jr.) would have led Wheels to be a total parapalegic as opposed to partial.

"--I took this thumb right here and dug it deep into her ear and kinda skeeted around in her ear there. And her tail was wagging and all that...it was great. Well when I took my finger out I saw that it was covered with, like, black junk and crap and stuff so I held it up to her and she licked it off. Yeah it was great. Told you it was kinky."

While the rest of the gents and terrified ladies were gagging and trying not to swallow their rots Your Humble posed the point: "Wheels it's only kinky if you try to make it sexual."

To which Wheels responded: "DUDE! It fuckin' WAS sexual!"

This is a person that Dane Barbados Jr. knows in real life. This story is true. These are the events that would crack the mind of a normal man...it just reaffirms to Dane Barbados Jr. that he truly is better than everyone.