Dane Barbados Jr. Presents: A Day In the Life (part I)
So there are two things that the people like to ask yours truly, Dane Barbados Jr.
The first of those things is: Do you work for a living?
The second is: What makes you different from anyone else.
This story my sycophants will answer both of those questions. I present to you a two and a half section of Dane Barbados Jr's day today. A section that ended a scant hour ago. Enjoy.
Dane Barbados Jr. does not truly work for a living. He does not truly have to for he is wealthy and is the son of royalty.
He does, however, know boredom. It was out of boredom that Dane Barbados Jr. decided to spend some time helping a compatriot start up his budding automobile dealership.
The street on which this dealership is owned by a man whom we shall refer to as J.K.
J.K. has a son whom is also named J.K. however he is known around the dealership as "Wheels."
Most people whom are called Wheels is because the possess some great or interesting mode of transportation. Our Wheels is no difference. The difference being that our Wheels is paralyzed and his primary mode of transportation is his motorized wheelchair. Indeed.
For the true weight of these...bizarre...series of events you, in your infinite sluggishness of mind, need some background.
Wheels is one of those gentlemen whom always has some sort of get rich quick scheme which always leave them with money lost and none gained.
His favorite expression is bellowing, in his high-pitched voice, "skeet-skeet-skeet!" Yes...he is white.
Wheels weighs naught but a scant 95 pounds, wears glasses and can be grating. But we take care of young wheels.
Imagine the surprise of Dane Barbados Jr. when Wheels rode at the maximum capacity of his conveyance into the office, stopping in front of my desk and loudly declaring:
"Yo! Yooooooo! Dane I need to skeet fifty bucks off you man!"
To which I, Dane Barbados Jr., immediately scoffed.
"C'mon man there's a girl out here I'm trying to skeet on! She charges 350 but I've only got 300 on me c'mon man let me skeet that 50!"
Being in the gracious mood that Wheels seems to fester amongst even the most hardened hearts I opened my billfold and slid one of your fifty dollar bills into Wheels' nigh-immobile hand. As soon as he had it grasped he immediately rocketed out of the office with a "Thanks skeeter!"
I and my droogs (as they were) went to the large window in front of the office to see what there was to be seen.
What we saw was Wheels cavorting with a young girl of 18 or 19, very thin though not unattractive when her pimp (as you call them) rolled up and got out.
Here we were watching Wheels count out three hundred dollars...to an obvious pimp...in broad daylight...in front of many places of business...on a street that his father owned.
Hard to believe Dane Barbados Jr. realizes.
It's really nothing compared to what comes next.
The first of those things is: Do you work for a living?
The second is: What makes you different from anyone else.
This story my sycophants will answer both of those questions. I present to you a two and a half section of Dane Barbados Jr's day today. A section that ended a scant hour ago. Enjoy.
Dane Barbados Jr. does not truly work for a living. He does not truly have to for he is wealthy and is the son of royalty.
He does, however, know boredom. It was out of boredom that Dane Barbados Jr. decided to spend some time helping a compatriot start up his budding automobile dealership.
The street on which this dealership is owned by a man whom we shall refer to as J.K.
J.K. has a son whom is also named J.K. however he is known around the dealership as "Wheels."
Most people whom are called Wheels is because the possess some great or interesting mode of transportation. Our Wheels is no difference. The difference being that our Wheels is paralyzed and his primary mode of transportation is his motorized wheelchair. Indeed.
For the true weight of these...bizarre...series of events you, in your infinite sluggishness of mind, need some background.
Wheels is one of those gentlemen whom always has some sort of get rich quick scheme which always leave them with money lost and none gained.
His favorite expression is bellowing, in his high-pitched voice, "skeet-skeet-skeet!" Yes...he is white.
Wheels weighs naught but a scant 95 pounds, wears glasses and can be grating. But we take care of young wheels.
Imagine the surprise of Dane Barbados Jr. when Wheels rode at the maximum capacity of his conveyance into the office, stopping in front of my desk and loudly declaring:
"Yo! Yooooooo! Dane I need to skeet fifty bucks off you man!"
To which I, Dane Barbados Jr., immediately scoffed.
"C'mon man there's a girl out here I'm trying to skeet on! She charges 350 but I've only got 300 on me c'mon man let me skeet that 50!"
Being in the gracious mood that Wheels seems to fester amongst even the most hardened hearts I opened my billfold and slid one of your fifty dollar bills into Wheels' nigh-immobile hand. As soon as he had it grasped he immediately rocketed out of the office with a "Thanks skeeter!"
I and my droogs (as they were) went to the large window in front of the office to see what there was to be seen.
What we saw was Wheels cavorting with a young girl of 18 or 19, very thin though not unattractive when her pimp (as you call them) rolled up and got out.
Here we were watching Wheels count out three hundred dollars...to an obvious pimp...in broad daylight...in front of many places of business...on a street that his father owned.
Hard to believe Dane Barbados Jr. realizes.
It's really nothing compared to what comes next.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 6:48 PM
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