Dane Barbados Jr. on: Britney Spears' Pro-Life Statue
There are certain times in the life of Dane Barbados Jr. where the word "disgust" is simply not strong enough. Now is assuredly one of those times. Witness and let your occular cavities be seared shut:
Yes Loyal Sycophats of Barbados, your bleary, smoke-hazed eyes, do not decieve you. That is indeed the chisled visage of Britney Spears...pregnant...naked...on a bearskin rug.
Why Britney Spears you may ask? Because she was decided to be the "ideal" of motherhood.
Firstly let Dane Barbados Jr. remark, I have seen Britney Spears when she was at her most pregant...she did not look like this, she does not look like this NOW. She was fat, pasty, and barefoot-in-a-gastation-bathroom disgusting.
Yes, even more disgusting then she normally is.
Neither, one would imagine, would her heartily fake breasts hang so perfectly or convincingly.
She surely was not the chiseled, well-muscled, figure in that scupture. With that sort of pimple-faced, sweaty-necked, hairy-palmed, idyllic revisionism a drag queen from the bowels of Las Vegas could appear to be the "ideal" of motherhood.
And one must posit the observation: NO ONE looks that calm, composed, or attractive during the filthy, dirty, exhausting duty of childbirth. If Britney Spearks looks like a back alley cumdumpster on a daily basis are we to really believe that she looks that good while straining to push something the size of a watermelon out of here stretched and battered snatch?
I think not.
Her face, in that sulpture, should look as horrified and pain-filled as my face upon seeing it.
Now Dane Barbados Jr. knows that Britney's male fans are the lowest of the low of basement dwelling, sun avoiding, jobless, carless, computer game playing troglodytes but even considering that...why is this scene staged like a 70's pornography shoot?
Why are her muscled hauches (trimmed down from the cellulite gasbags that she toted in reality) raised in supplication and doggest style, seemingly awaiting the pitted and diseased manhammer of Keven Federline?
Why is she posed on that staple of vintage American pornagraphy, the bearskin rug?
What dingy and unloved fan thought this was a good idea?
Eroticizing the act of childbirth is easily one of the most disturbing and disgusting things that Dane Barbados Jr. has seen recently (other than the other pictures of Britney Spears that is).
Whomever decided to pose this washwoman harlot this way deserves the Barbados Trinity (kidney punch, boxed ears and donkey punch) not once, not twice, but thrice, for sullying the eyes, mind and imagination of Barbados Jr. and his loyal sycophants thusly.
The Goddess Athena, revered for her beauty and intelligence, did not recieve a statue of this kind...why does this trollop the Goddess of trailers, used cigarette butts, cheap whiskey and dropping out deserve such?
Dane Barbados Jr. pledges to release a bodily function upon this statue everytime he sees it and urges his legion of loyal followers to do likewise.
Such is deserving for this affront to the senses and near-release of the breakfast of Barbados.
Dane Barbados Jr. does NOT approve.
Yes Loyal Sycophats of Barbados, your bleary, smoke-hazed eyes, do not decieve you. That is indeed the chisled visage of Britney Spears...pregnant...naked...on a bearskin rug.
Why Britney Spears you may ask? Because she was decided to be the "ideal" of motherhood.
Firstly let Dane Barbados Jr. remark, I have seen Britney Spears when she was at her most pregant...she did not look like this, she does not look like this NOW. She was fat, pasty, and barefoot-in-a-gastation-bathroom disgusting.
Yes, even more disgusting then she normally is.
Neither, one would imagine, would her heartily fake breasts hang so perfectly or convincingly.
She surely was not the chiseled, well-muscled, figure in that scupture. With that sort of pimple-faced, sweaty-necked, hairy-palmed, idyllic revisionism a drag queen from the bowels of Las Vegas could appear to be the "ideal" of motherhood.
And one must posit the observation: NO ONE looks that calm, composed, or attractive during the filthy, dirty, exhausting duty of childbirth. If Britney Spearks looks like a back alley cumdumpster on a daily basis are we to really believe that she looks that good while straining to push something the size of a watermelon out of here stretched and battered snatch?
I think not.
Her face, in that sulpture, should look as horrified and pain-filled as my face upon seeing it.
Now Dane Barbados Jr. knows that Britney's male fans are the lowest of the low of basement dwelling, sun avoiding, jobless, carless, computer game playing troglodytes but even considering that...why is this scene staged like a 70's pornography shoot?
Why are her muscled hauches (trimmed down from the cellulite gasbags that she toted in reality) raised in supplication and doggest style, seemingly awaiting the pitted and diseased manhammer of Keven Federline?
Why is she posed on that staple of vintage American pornagraphy, the bearskin rug?
What dingy and unloved fan thought this was a good idea?
Eroticizing the act of childbirth is easily one of the most disturbing and disgusting things that Dane Barbados Jr. has seen recently (other than the other pictures of Britney Spears that is).
Whomever decided to pose this washwoman harlot this way deserves the Barbados Trinity (kidney punch, boxed ears and donkey punch) not once, not twice, but thrice, for sullying the eyes, mind and imagination of Barbados Jr. and his loyal sycophants thusly.
The Goddess Athena, revered for her beauty and intelligence, did not recieve a statue of this kind...why does this trollop the Goddess of trailers, used cigarette butts, cheap whiskey and dropping out deserve such?
Dane Barbados Jr. pledges to release a bodily function upon this statue everytime he sees it and urges his legion of loyal followers to do likewise.
Such is deserving for this affront to the senses and near-release of the breakfast of Barbados.
Dane Barbados Jr. does NOT approve.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 12:28 PM
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