Dane Barbados Jr. Remembers: University pt.7 (pt.1)

Today, whilst nursing a bottle of Patron tequila (the dirtiest of dirty liquors, even the most expensive variety tastes like the post coital sweat of a Bangkok whore...trust Dane Barbados Jr. on this one) trying to drown out the memory if a particularly unsatisfying bit of carnal revelry.

Though it is doubtful that many of your ilk could share this experience but Dane Barbados Jr. will continue unabated. Today whilst out on the town your humble narrator came upon a very choice bit of fluff.


Just the type of Dane Barbados Jr.: very tall (around 5' 11"), not too thin, short, spiked red hair, ample C-cups, firm, rounded posterior, long legs, copious peircings and eye makeup. A sure deal one would say.

Then after the requisite charm session we absconded to the bedchamber where I was met with utmost disappointment.

I swear it upon the hallowed and sacred crest of the clan Barbados that there is nothing worse in this world than bedding a gorgeous dame and she just lays there. Just lays there and takes it. No moans, no screams, no gyrations, no fingernails scraping the back, thrusting hips. Just an experience akin to dryhumping driftwood. To mounting a freshly purchased piece of lawn furniture.

Boring and plain. The screaming and adoring line of brickhouse goddesses at my feet proclaim Dane Barbados Jr. as an expert cocksman and they cannot be wrong.

So after throwing this zombiefied slattern from my bed and tossing a rumpled pile of American bills in her wake I lay here, typing on my laptop, and remembering.

I'm remembering a female from my University days. A bit of a female Dane Barbados Jr. to be honest.

She was a total and complete whore. The type of female that ordinarily Dane Barbados Jr. would hate and shower with spent cigar ash and discarded cigarette butts. This girl (let's call her "Juliette") was different though. Where as most whore deny categorically that they are, in fact, whores and have a powerful lust for the varied and sundry penises of strangers Juliette was perfectly in tuned with who and what she was.

For her being a whore was an act of defiance and empowerment. She knew what she wanted and cared naught what people though of her for embracing her needs and nature. An admirable quality to be sure.

I had an introductory Literature class with this girl and was instantly intrigued by her ascerbic wit and biting sarcasm. She held the general disdane for humanity that is shared by yours truly. Though taken in individual pieces she was not up to the quality that Dane Barbados Jr. demands in his concubines. She was short, had bleached blonde hair, did not shave or trim her pubic mound, possessed a spot of the dreaded "long-toe" and was rail thin. Thin enough to shave a finely aged block of bree with her razor sharp hip-bones. Oh and she also had improbably misproportioned breasts. One was a full and hearty C-cup, the other was a more modest B. A full cupsize difference.

Despite these many and severe flaws Dane Barbados Jr. was smitten. I watched her from a distance for awhile, we exchanged minor pleasantries and I bided my time. I couldn't size her up, though by that time I had surmised that she would be a fantastic lay. The polor opposite of the boring and run of the mill missionary snooze-fests that I had been accustomed to. With this, like all else, Dane Barbados Jr. would not be wrong.