Dane Barbados Jr. Updates: The Remake List
Coming to a deserted multiplex near you:
-A film remake of your 70's television show "Welcome Back Kotter." Kotter whilst being tall, lanky, white and afro'd in the original will in this iteration be played by Ice Cube.
...because the all Black remake of the Honeymooners was such a success.
Michael Clark Duncan playing the white character The Kingpin in "Daredevil?" Capitol idea (though the movie sucked like a Panamanian whore).
Ice Cube playing Kotter? Not so much (although he's not at all a terrible actor).
African Americans are smart enough to not fall for such obvious, derivitave and shameful pandering.
-Next up is the Hollywood remake of television "soap-opera" called "Dallas." Staring such lovable has-beens as Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, John Travolta and Shirley MacLaine.
Let's all examine these "thespian's" last movies.
Travolta: The Punisher. Flop.
Jennifer Lopez: Gili. Legendary Flop of "Ishtar" proportions.
Owen Wilson: The Dukes of Hazzard. Flop AND remake...some people never learn.
Shirley MacLaine: who knows we might not have even been born yet.
When will Hollywood learn that it will take more than a half-assed "Urban" approach and/or dusting off a DECADES old property to get the paltry monies of the people?
Hint: They never will because they are as stupid and horribly inbred as you are.
-A film remake of your 70's television show "Welcome Back Kotter." Kotter whilst being tall, lanky, white and afro'd in the original will in this iteration be played by Ice Cube.
...because the all Black remake of the Honeymooners was such a success.
Michael Clark Duncan playing the white character The Kingpin in "Daredevil?" Capitol idea (though the movie sucked like a Panamanian whore).
Ice Cube playing Kotter? Not so much (although he's not at all a terrible actor).
African Americans are smart enough to not fall for such obvious, derivitave and shameful pandering.
-Next up is the Hollywood remake of television "soap-opera" called "Dallas." Staring such lovable has-beens as Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, John Travolta and Shirley MacLaine.
Let's all examine these "thespian's" last movies.
Travolta: The Punisher. Flop.
Jennifer Lopez: Gili. Legendary Flop of "Ishtar" proportions.
Owen Wilson: The Dukes of Hazzard. Flop AND remake...some people never learn.
Shirley MacLaine: who knows we might not have even been born yet.
When will Hollywood learn that it will take more than a half-assed "Urban" approach and/or dusting off a DECADES old property to get the paltry monies of the people?
Hint: They never will because they are as stupid and horribly inbred as you are.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 7:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home