Dane Barbados Jr. Presents: A Day In the Life (part II)
So there was your humble narrator, Dane Barbados Jr., and his droogs standing in front of the large front window in the office having just witnessed a thin, unkempt, wheelchair-bound, parapalegic purchase a young whore from her pimp in broad daylight.
Next we viddied (saw that is) Wheels, with his thin arm around the whore's thin hips, point towards the office and my droogs immediately scrambled to their offices. Not so for Dane Barbados Jr. who stood fast.
The young whore came into the office and attempted to start up small talk with yours truly, seemingly very ignorant of the fact that Dane Barbados Jr. would expend neither the effort or the time to waste words on a whore such as her, and took a seat.
Wheels came into the office and led the young bit of fluff back into the warehouse. He then returned yelling at the top of his unfeeble voice "Yo! Who can a brother skeet a condom from?"
With an embarassed look upon his face the CFO of the company Kay came out and asked Wheels how many he needed and the response was two. Kay then gave him two condoms.
Wheels then asked if any of us had any "love lotion." To which your Humble responded that he could use the lubricant from the dildo machine that he had stored in the warehouse.
...a short aside. As has already been mentioned Wheels was the type to attempt to make quick and easy money. One of those methods was attempting to sell random things on your eBay.com.
One of these things was two full pallets of a disgusting concoction known as "Chico on the Nile." The ingredients of such lightly carbonated beverage included guava juice, papya juice, mango juice, strawberry juice...
...and carrot juice, onion juice and cabbage concentrate. Indeed.
Another of these odd items, and the purpose of this aside, is the afore mentioned dildo machine. This machine was clearly homemade. It was essentially a large, red, metal toolbox with a large metal rod protruding from the front which could accomodate a dildo. When plugged in the rod (and attatched instument) would move in a forward and backward motion. It also came with a fairly large tube of the afore mentioned "love lotion." Indeed.
Wheels then asked if Kay could retrieve the love lotion whilst he awaited his Viagra to take effect. Indeed.
He then, in the very front of your Humble, began lifting up the waist band of his sweat pants (to inspect the effects of the drug one would assume) as well as attempting to pull off his shirt.
Now ordinarily Dane Barbados Jr. would fly into a sky rending fit of fisticuffs and elbows but even one such as he has his limits and Wheels lay beyond.
Instead with steady voice and icy look your Humble suggested that he take his escapades to the warehouse with his awaiting whore. And, as could be expected, he listened and closed the door behind him.
He and the whore had been back there for around twenty minutes when your Humble realized that the very wide, very open bay door to the warehouse was wide open where all the world could view the unholy union of a whore and undernourished cripple.
I then arose to walk around to close the bay. On my way what did I hear?
"Hey! Hi Mr. Barbados Jr.!"
I turned around and saw, to my very rare and unusual shock, to see a child that was under my care when Dane Barbados Jr. spent a brief stint in one of your middle schools. Truly.
And it became even more insane.
Next we viddied (saw that is) Wheels, with his thin arm around the whore's thin hips, point towards the office and my droogs immediately scrambled to their offices. Not so for Dane Barbados Jr. who stood fast.
The young whore came into the office and attempted to start up small talk with yours truly, seemingly very ignorant of the fact that Dane Barbados Jr. would expend neither the effort or the time to waste words on a whore such as her, and took a seat.
Wheels came into the office and led the young bit of fluff back into the warehouse. He then returned yelling at the top of his unfeeble voice "Yo! Who can a brother skeet a condom from?"
With an embarassed look upon his face the CFO of the company Kay came out and asked Wheels how many he needed and the response was two. Kay then gave him two condoms.
Wheels then asked if any of us had any "love lotion." To which your Humble responded that he could use the lubricant from the dildo machine that he had stored in the warehouse.
...a short aside. As has already been mentioned Wheels was the type to attempt to make quick and easy money. One of those methods was attempting to sell random things on your eBay.com.
One of these things was two full pallets of a disgusting concoction known as "Chico on the Nile." The ingredients of such lightly carbonated beverage included guava juice, papya juice, mango juice, strawberry juice...
...and carrot juice, onion juice and cabbage concentrate. Indeed.
Another of these odd items, and the purpose of this aside, is the afore mentioned dildo machine. This machine was clearly homemade. It was essentially a large, red, metal toolbox with a large metal rod protruding from the front which could accomodate a dildo. When plugged in the rod (and attatched instument) would move in a forward and backward motion. It also came with a fairly large tube of the afore mentioned "love lotion." Indeed.
Wheels then asked if Kay could retrieve the love lotion whilst he awaited his Viagra to take effect. Indeed.
He then, in the very front of your Humble, began lifting up the waist band of his sweat pants (to inspect the effects of the drug one would assume) as well as attempting to pull off his shirt.
Now ordinarily Dane Barbados Jr. would fly into a sky rending fit of fisticuffs and elbows but even one such as he has his limits and Wheels lay beyond.
Instead with steady voice and icy look your Humble suggested that he take his escapades to the warehouse with his awaiting whore. And, as could be expected, he listened and closed the door behind him.
He and the whore had been back there for around twenty minutes when your Humble realized that the very wide, very open bay door to the warehouse was wide open where all the world could view the unholy union of a whore and undernourished cripple.
I then arose to walk around to close the bay. On my way what did I hear?
"Hey! Hi Mr. Barbados Jr.!"
I turned around and saw, to my very rare and unusual shock, to see a child that was under my care when Dane Barbados Jr. spent a brief stint in one of your middle schools. Truly.
And it became even more insane.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 10:57 PM
4 Comments:
About your signature on http://boards.brownpride.com;
That sounds a bit threatening.
Is it a threat?
Eh? What is that site and how does it function?
Dane Barbados Jr. has naught a want for your "message boards."
He communicates to the masses through this, your Instant Messenger and the whispered tales spoken by the broken women in his wake.
you tagline on that board is "The only verdict is vengeance. The vendetta."
and you posted a link to one of my posts....so is your tagline a threat?
Dane Barbados Jr. is confounded by your insistence that he knows what you are talking about.
He does not.
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