Dane Barbados Jr. Presents: A Day In the Life (part III)

Now it is a known fact that Dane Barbados Jr. is not a very nice man. Can, indeed, be called a terrible person. He cares naught. Now that being said there are some things that Dane Barbados Jr. can not even do.

Exposing a child to a malnourished paralyzed man in a wheelchair having sex with a middlegrade whore in the warehouse of a car dealership is one of those things.

So Dane Barbados Jr. said: "Hello child. Mr. Barbados Jr. bids you good day. Begone before he rains blows of such ferocity upon your growing form that you will grow forever scarred."

To which the child laughed, said "Same old Mr. Barbados" and left. Lesson: Cruelty can often be used for good little Sycophants.

Dane Barbados Jr. then proceeded into the lion's den, or open bay if you will, to close the door when he was accosted by the high-pitched squeel of Wheels:

"Hey man what are you doing? Don't skeet on that man, let 'em see man let 'em see!"

"Silence Wheels! Cease this nonsense. Fuck your diseased trollop if you must but spare the ears of Barbados Jr. from your incessant garbagemouth!"

To which Wheels replied: "C'mon Dane! I need the light man so I can 'skeet up in this chick!"

I then shut the bay door and flipped a light switch for Wheels to do his deed, then exited posthaste.

Some time later (with Wheels still with his spumbucket) one of the employees of the place came in after doing some outside work. Locking eyes with the owner Dane Barbados Jr. knew then what must be done and said:

"P thou wilst not believe what nonsense Wheels has, once again, brought into your place of businees."

"God man what now?" P said, "I don't even want to see do I?"

"Indeed you must for it is of the utmost hilarity."

Well no man or woman can deny the words of Barbados and P opened the door...

...stood there for five seconds with a look of fascination and disgust on his face...

...then said "oh shit...sorry." And closed the door proclaiming your Humble an asshole and villain...which I am of course and could offer no rebuttal.

Not five minutes afterwords P, while looking outside of the window, said "How long has Wheels' Mom been outside?"

My compatriots froze in terror whilst honeyed gales of laughter escaped from betwixt the lips of Barbados.

Mrs. Wheels, the wife of their landlord, stepped into the shop, not 40 feet from where her only son (crippled or otherwise) was presumably balling a dimestore guttersnipe and asked: "Have any of you guys seen ******? I've been looking for him for awhile now and they said he was here."

Still paralyzed my comrades all rolled their glazzies to your Humble. As always Dane Barbados Jr. took the situation firmly in hand and said: "Yes madam, I do believe I saw young ****** going behind the buildings yonder into the woods. Mayhap you'll find him there."

And like many a vaginite before her she found herself hypnotized by the dulcet tones of Barbados and believed even that most unlikely scenario, blushed, and left.

All my compatriots let loose hefty sighs whilst I just laughed.

Fifteen minutes later Wheels exited the warehouse into the office, shirt off, flushed, and sweatpants moist (to all our disgust) and proclaimed loudly: "Hey guys I'm done with that overthere, you guys can skeet up in that if you want to!"

Dane Barbados Jr. rose, patted Wheels on the head in reward for a line of such vulgarity and baseness and exited thinking to himself that this was truly indicative of the average day in the life.

So there you have it loyal and frequent readers. Such was but a small section, an hour and a half at most, in the life of Dane Barbados Jr.

He approves and delcares all other than slight changing of names, to be a true story.

You may marvel at such at your leisure.