Dane Barbados Jr. is Disturbed by: The Insanity of Tom Cruise

Dane Barbados Jr. is truly tired to writing about Tom Cruise. However Tom Cruise keeps making a spectacle of himself to the degree that blinds even Your Humble.

We all saw his schitzo tirade against the flower-squirter...calling him a "jerk."

We all saw his inane and baffling ramblings on the evils of anti-psychotic medications (which actually explains alot about Tom Cruise when you think about it).

We saw him manhandle Oprah and nearly sexually assult her poor couch with his joy over his relationship with the former Katie Holmes (we'll get to that in a second).

You may have heard about his demand that Ms. Holmes have a traditional (and quite insane) Scientology silent birth.

Dane Barbados Jr. himself made you aware of Tom Cruise's absolutely, positively, random and disturbing thoughts on the taste and nutrition of his child's afterbirth.

Well now Mr. Cruise has "talked" Ms. Holmes into changing her god-given, birthname, of Katie to merely Kate. (Though We prefer the term "Brainwashing").

Here's what he had to say on the subject: "Katie" sounded too young for a 27-year-old and she would now be known to friends and family as "Kate." Tom says: "Katie is a young girl's name. Her name is Kate now – she's a child-bearing woman."

You may have noticed in your infinite dullness, as Dane Barbados Jr. suspected long ago. To whit: Tom Cruise is clearly insane.

Now, genteel reader, Dane Barbados Jr. knows that that term is thrown around fairly loosely. No, Tom Cruise is clearly certifiably insane. As in is in desperate need of medication, a nice padded room, shoes with no laces and a delightful basket weaving class.

And no doubt is all because he is unmasculinely short.

Which is why Dane Barbados Jr. always says: Fuck Short People.