Dane Barbados Jr. on: Halloween

I, Dane Barbados Jr., recently experienced your holiday "Halloween." I must say that this is truly one of the most memorable holidays that Dane Barbados Jr. has ever experienced.

A range of participants from the stupidly young to the feebly old. And every moronic age inbetween. Candy and alcohol. Pranks and general debauchery of all kinds. Truly an event hand tailored for one such as I.

And, thustly, Dane Barbados Jr. must delcare that the favorite part of it all must be your "costumes." Whilst a fair contingent are so far below Barbados Jr. as to not even mention the vast majority of your comely lasses seem to have all decided, to our delight, to dress as the same thing:

A slut.

Why lie?



"I'm a Cop!"

No you're not, you're a slut...with handcuffs...so you're a kinky-super-slut. Enjoy.

"I'm an inmate!"

Yes, the variety seen excluively on Cinemax...a Caged
Heat slut.

"I'm a Pirate!"

That clearly frequently gets the ol'peg stuck in 'yer booty. Ahoy slut.

"I'm a Pixie!"

Indeed, a dick-pixie. Here's a towel to wipe the remants of my magic potion from betwixt your eyelids...slut.

"I'm a Witch!"

Indeed the Wicked Witch with a Syphilis Twist. Taste my golden Holy Water slut.

"I'm a doctor!"

...at a spermbank and you extract it with only your mouth. Will the HMO cover the slutcosts?

"I'm a teacher!"

Dane Barbados Jr. would make a "sex education" joke, but frankly, "slut" does the job just as well.














Ladies in the future just be honest with yourselves. Despite the shape or the cost, you're dressing as a slut. Lies or no lies, you're sure to still be able to be clumsily laid by a drunken frat-boy and wake up with a loose anus and mysteriously salty taste in your mouth.

Does Dane Barbados Jr. approve?

He doesn't konw. But he surely loves Halloween. Great stuff.