Dane Barbados Jr. Revisits: Remakes.

Dane Barbados Jr. has just come across this on your interweb. It reaffirms my venom toward recent trends in Hollywood:

When Pigs Fly
(Or Hollywood produces something original)
Intro. Written by Alex Sandell

The only thing more unlikely than seeing a pig fly, would be to see modern Hollywood produce an original film. Case in point -- the year 2005. Here are the films that are either remakes or sequels, based on a comic book, book, play, or video game, which have been released since January 1st, 2005. This page will be updated whenever Hollywood releases another used idea (which means quite frequently). It's ironic that Hollywood's fight against pirates grows increasingly more draconian with each passing day, when Hollywood itself is more guilty of piracy than anyone that they're pointing a finger at. Yes, piracy is hurting the film industry. But it's the piracy of the film industry that's causing the hurt. I am including the box-office of these films, along with their production costs, in hopes of waking Hollywood up and letting them see how much their piracy is hurting Hollywood. How long will it be until the Supreme Court takes on a "Hollywood Vs. Hollywood" case? Anyway, on with the list ...

Movie: Elektra
Release Date: January 14th, 2005
Based on: A comic book
Semi-sequel to: DareDevil, also based on a comic
Domestic Total Gross: $24,409,722
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $43,000,000

Movie: Assault on Precinct 13
Release Date: January 19th, 2005
Remake of: The 1976 film, Assault on Precinct 13
Domestic Total Gross: $20,040,894
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000

Movie: Alone in the Dark
Release Date: January 28th, 2005
Based on: A video game
Domestic Total Gross: $5,178,569
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000

Movie: The Wedding Date
Release Date: February 4th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Total Gross: $31,626,995
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $15,000,000

Movie: Pooh's Heffalump Movie
Release Date: February 11th, 2005
Based on: A series of books
Domestic Total Gross: $18,098,433
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000

Movie: Constantine (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: February 18th, 2005
Based on: A comic book
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately 75 million
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $100,000,000

Movie: Because of Winn-Dixie
Release Date: February 18th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Total Gross: $32,647,042
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $14,000,000

Movie: Son of the Mask
Release Date: February 18th, 2005
Sequel to: The Mask
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $17,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $84,000,000

Movie: Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Release Date: February 25th, 2005
Based on: A play
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $50,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $6,000,000

Movie: Be Cool
Release Date: March 4th, 2005
Based on: A book
Sequel to: Get Shorty
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $56,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $53,000,000

Movie: Hostage
Release Date: March 11th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Total Gross: $34,639,939
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available, but most likely more than 35 million dollars

Movie: The Ring Two (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: March 18th, 2005
Sequel to: The Ring, which was based on the movie, Ringu
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $76,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available

Movie: Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Release Date: March 24th, 2005
Sequel to: Miss Congeniality
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $48,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available, but most likely more than 48 million dollars

Movie: Guess Who
Release Date: March 25th, 2005
Remake of: The 1967 film, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $68,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available

Movie: Beauty Shop
Release Date: March 30th, 2005
Sequel to/Spin-off of: Barber Shop 2: Back in Business
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $36,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available

Movie: Sin City (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: April 1st, 2005
Based on: A comic book
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $73,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $40,000,000

Movie: Sahara
Release Date: April 8th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $68,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $130,000,000

Movie: Fever Pitch
Release Date: April 8th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $41,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000

Movie: The Amityville Horror (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: April 13th, 2005
Based on: A book, which had already inspired a string of Amityville Horror movies
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $65,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $19,000,000

Movie: xXx: State of the Union
Release Date: April 29th, 2005
Sequel to: xXx
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $26,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available, but most likely more than $26,000,000

Movie: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: April 29th, 2005
Based on: A radio play, book and television series
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $50,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $50,000,000

Movie: House of Wax
Release Date: May 6th, 2005
Remake of: The 1953 film, House of Wax
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $31,000,000
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $40,000,000

Movie: Jiminy Glick in La La Wood
Release Date: May 6th, 2005
Based on: Martin Short's grossly unfunny television character
Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $36,039
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available

Movie: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: May 19th, 2005
Sequel to: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Domestic Gross: $376,032,137 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $113,000,000

Movie: Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
Release Date: May 20th, 2005
Based on: A book and The Exorcist film
Domestic Total Gross: $246,708
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available, but much more than $246,708.

Movie: The Longest Yard
Release Date: May 27th, 2005
Remake of: The 1974 film, The Longest Yard
Domestic Gross: $155,414,130 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $82,000,000

Movie: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Release Date: June 1st, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $37,875,835 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $25,000,000

Movie: The Honeymooners
Release Date: June 10th, 2005
Based on: A television sitcom
Domestic Gross: $12,731,737 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $25,000,000

Movie: Batman Begins (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: June 15th, 2005
Based on: A comic book (and the previous Warner Bros. Batman films)
Domestic Gross: $191,693,621 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $150,000,000

Movie: Herbie: Fully Loaded
Release Date: June 22nd, 2005
Based on/Sequel to/Remake of: A bunch of lame Disney movies about a talking car
Domestic Gross: $60,714,223 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $50,000,000

Movie: Bewitched
Release Date: June 24th, 2005
Based on: A television sitcom
Domestic Gross: $59,778,163 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $85,000,000

Movie: George A. Romero's Land of the Dead (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: June 24th, 2005
Sequel to: Day of the Dead
Domestic Gross: $20,283,890 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $16,000,000 - $20,000,000

Movie: War of the Worlds (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: June 29th, 2005
Based on the Book: War of the Worlds
Partial Remake of: The 1953 film, The War of the Worlds
Rip-off of: Nearly every Steven Spielberg film ever made
Domestic Gross: $209,578,221 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Studio claims $135,000,000. Almost every other person in the know claims in excess of $200,000,000.

Movie: Dark Water
Release Date: July 8th, 2005
Remake of: The 2002 film, Honogurai mizu no soko kara, which was based on a book.
Domestic Gross: $23,258,397 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available

Movie: The Fantastic 4 (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: July 8th, 2005
Based on: A comic book
Domestic Gross: $124,618,954 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $100,000,000

Movie: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: July 15th, 2005
Based on: A book, which also inspired the film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Domestic Gross: $118,684,383 (as of July 25th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $150,000,000

Movie: The Devil's Rejects (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: July 22nd, 2005
Sequel to: House of 1000 Corpses
Domestic Gross: $17,044,981
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $7,000,000

Movie: Bad News Bears (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: July 22nd, 2005
Remake of: The Bad News Bears
Domestic Gross: $32,868,349
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $35,000,000

Movie: Must Love Dogs
Release Date: July 29th, 2005
Based on: A television series
Domestic Gross: $43,698,897
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000

Movie: The Great Raid (Click here to read Juicy review)
Release Date: August 12th, 2005
Based on: Two different books
Domestic Gross: $10,164,597
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $80,000,000

Movie: The Dukes of Hazzard (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: August 6th, 2005
Based on: A television series
Domestic Gross: $80,148,712 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $50,000,000

Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Release Date: August 12th, 2005
Sequel to: Deuce Bigalow: American Gigolo
Domestic Gross: $22,264,487
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000

Movie: The Constant Gardener
Release Date: September 2nd, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $31,582,342 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $25,000,000

Movie: Transporter 2
Release Date: September 2nd, 2005
Sequel to: The Transporter
Domestic Gross: $42,500,120
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $32,000,000

Movie: A Sound of Thunder
Release Date: September 2nd, 2005
Based on: A short story
Domestic Gross: $1,897,575
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $80,000,000

Movie: An Unfinished Life (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: September 9th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $8,407,328 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000

Movie: The Exorcism of Emily Rose (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: September 9th, 2005
Based on: A book and some crazy guy's fabrication of true events
Domestic Gross: $72,871,827 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000

Movie: Proof
Release Date: September 16th, 2005
Based on: A play
Domestic Gross: $4,901,556 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000

Movie: A History of Violence
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005
Based on: A graphic novel/comic book
Domestic Gross: $20,000,000 (estimate)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $32,000,000

Movie: Oliver Twist
Release Date: September 23rd, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $1,930,717 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $60,000,000

Movie: Serenity (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: September 30th, 2005
Based on: The television show, Firefly
Domestic Gross: $20,572,000 (as of October 14th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $39,000,000

Movie: The Greatest Game Ever Played
Release Date: September 30th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $11,000,000 (estimate as of October 15th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): N/A

Movie: Wallace & Gromit: The curse of the Were-Rabbit (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Based on: Wallace & Gromit animated shorts
Domestic Gross: $21,580,281 (as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): N/A

Movie: In Her Shoes
Release Date: October 7th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: $13,950,054 (estimate as of October 13th, 2005)
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): N/A

Movie: The Fog (Click here to read the Juicy review)
Release Date: October 14th, 2005
Based on: A book
Domestic Gross: ?
Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $18,000,000

Plenty more to come (the stagnated minds in Hollywood will make sure of that)!

Questions, comments, concerns, films that need to be added? Click to email!

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©2005 Alex Sandell [All Rights Reserved]. In 2 years, I'm thinking about remaking this copyright, only this time in a red font.

http://www.juicycerebellum.com/usedideas.htm


As you can see the majority of these insufferable remakes have not remade their budgets. "You don't say?" Asks Dane Barbados Jr.

Perhaps one day Hollywood will remove their heads from their own rectums long enough to realize that the people will not stand for such rehashed, unimaginative, tripe time and time again.

Feh.