Dane Barbados Jr. revisits: 50 Cent

"According to this pleasant little report, incredithug rapper 50 Cent recently decided to give back to the New York community as much as possible in as little time as necessary: By merely handing out cash to kids. Alas, the man who made his name getting shot 5267 times was none too careful when counting his dollar bills. Instead of handing out $1800 as he intended, Fiddy mistakenly gave away $18,000 to the neighborhood kids, prompting hysterics. Not knowing how to handle this significant mistake, the rapper coped with his loss by using his body armor to beat the children senseless, at which point he quickly took his extra money back, hopped into his Escalade, and rode off into the ghetto sunset."

-hot995.com


...No, I didn't make a word of that up.