Dane Barbados Jr. on: Posh Spice and literacy.

The people all know that I, Dane Barbados Jr., am quite the fan of literacy. As such I was hilariously amused by the recent proclimation of one Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham:

"I haven't read a book in my life," Posh recently admitted to a Spanish magazine in an interview picked up by London's Daily Mail. "I haven't got enough time. I prefer to listen to music, although I do love fashion magazines."

Let this serve as a warning to the people. Most of the troglodytes that you all sniff and slurp after are but purile flies hovering over the skin of the world. Poor, virgin, unwashed masses all quiver and squirt their sour seed, nowhere near the general direction of a vagina, over Victoria Beckham and her atrociously fake, boulder-like breasts and horrendous scarecrow, cigarettes and cocaine figure, while she needs help reading a McDonald's menu.

And to think that this silly she-bitch-slop-whore has supposedly authored a book and her eunich of a husband David Beckham has authored two. I say thee nay. Are we to believe such tripe? Perhaps such lies will get past you whilst you are dazzled by their supposed "beauty"...but Dane Barbados Jr. is a spector of physical perfection and is blinded naught.

I won't even get started on Paris Hilton...I believe even people as slow as you know that she hovers at below literacy level.

People who consider themselves beautiful by paltry pedestrian standards are naught but spittoons to the likes of Dane Barbados Jr. Though I will tell the people, with a hint of sadness, that there is little joy to be obtained from verbally berating someone when they understand naught but a fifth of the words you say to them.

That's when it is neccessary to administer a mountain-shattering, physics-defying blow amid the kidneys such as only Dane Barbados Jr. can deliver. These mincing ignoramuses may not be able to spell "urine" but they must surely feel it as it courses down their thighs whilst they are pelted by my pointing and laughing.

And for the record, railthin heroin addict lookalikes such as Ms.Beckham do not have naturally large breasts. Such is biologically impossible. Weekend crackwhores with large, hard, half-melon breasts are not sexually attractive. You my think so. But you are wrong about many things.

Remember kids, Dane Barbados Jr. will laugh at you, he will berate you, but he will never lie to you. It is better to be ugly as sin and educated than beautiful and stupid. People like that will never be fit to be anything other than momentary carnal distractions to people like myself, Dane Barbados Jr.