Dane Barbados Jr. returns from vacation, pt.1
Ah I. Dane Barbados Jr., must tell the people that I had a wonderful time this past week whilst vacationing.
I returned to my glorious homeland and was greeted upon my arrival by a veritable troupe of zaftig young nubiles begging for naught but my formidible tallywhacker. Needless to say that I was quite entertained upon the limosine ride to my palatial villa.
Upon reaching my destination I took a moment to relish the beauty of my familial home whilst I was booting the slores into the heather for they had served their purpose. There are many greatly amusing things in your America but home, they say, is where the wanton royalty sex is...or some such.
My father, the Monarch, greeted me at the door with a hefty punch to the ribs to which I retaliated with a thunderous right hook of decapatory force. Any mere man would have fallen in a heap of blood and broken dreams. Such was not the fate of Dane Barbados Sr.
Together we shared a certain quantity of marijuana the likes of which are nigh-impossible to attain in your United States with leaves as purple as a french prostitue's vagina.
That first night I rutted naught but the finest young princesess and duchesses, drank naught but the finest vodka, Reigned bowel-liquifyingly forceful blows on naught but the haughtiest of vagabonds.
Ah to be young and better than everyone. You really should try it sometime.
Perhaps I will regail you with more tails of my vaction. Perhaps I will not.
I returned to my glorious homeland and was greeted upon my arrival by a veritable troupe of zaftig young nubiles begging for naught but my formidible tallywhacker. Needless to say that I was quite entertained upon the limosine ride to my palatial villa.
Upon reaching my destination I took a moment to relish the beauty of my familial home whilst I was booting the slores into the heather for they had served their purpose. There are many greatly amusing things in your America but home, they say, is where the wanton royalty sex is...or some such.
My father, the Monarch, greeted me at the door with a hefty punch to the ribs to which I retaliated with a thunderous right hook of decapatory force. Any mere man would have fallen in a heap of blood and broken dreams. Such was not the fate of Dane Barbados Sr.
Together we shared a certain quantity of marijuana the likes of which are nigh-impossible to attain in your United States with leaves as purple as a french prostitue's vagina.
That first night I rutted naught but the finest young princesess and duchesses, drank naught but the finest vodka, Reigned bowel-liquifyingly forceful blows on naught but the haughtiest of vagabonds.
Ah to be young and better than everyone. You really should try it sometime.
Perhaps I will regail you with more tails of my vaction. Perhaps I will not.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 11:59 PM
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