Dane Barbados Jr. on: Mike Tyson's new career

This morning I, Dane Barbados Jr., came upon a most unsettling and hilarious bit of news.

It seems that a certain bottom-dwelling slore, pornstarlet by the name of Jenna Jameson has been approaching the former ear-biter and woman beater in hopes of getting the mangler to star in a pronographic film with her.

I must say that I fear that repeated meat-beatings and/or horrible, unamed, social diseases may have rotted Ms.Jameson's brain.

What female, who's brain hasn't been rotted by semen overload, would pay good money to be viciously assulted by penis by the man who gave us such memorable jewels as:

"I'm on the Zoloft [an antidepressant] to keep from killing y'all."

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your f**king ass."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

"I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I'm going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain."

"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain."

...Yes, sound's like the kind of gent that any self-respecting woman would love to escort to the bedchamber does it not?

Now this trollop Jenna Jameson is clearly a whore. She derives her income from the reproductive act and it's many variations. And we cannot expect a whore to be but so intelligent after all but this particular whore's brain must be soaked in gallons of stale, curdled, man-tussin for her to even consider being beef-bludgeoned by such a creature as Mike Tyson.

Though I will admit that, despite the abject crudity of his language, Tyson and Dane Barbados Jr. share similar veiws on romance:

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

...and people in general:

"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead."

...and love of laying hands, this could have been ripped from my very mind:

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

I, Dane Barbados Jr., had prepared a graphic aid to go with this update, however it was deemed to horrific to be worksafe. You may thank me later.