Dane Barbados Jr. on: Man Perfume

All day I see the people on the television. I see them using these filthy man perfumes. Axe? Tag? Feh.

I see the "men" spray themselves with these various feminine products upon which they are immediately beset with strutting slatterns of many races. I, Dane Barbados Jr., do not believe this. I decided to see this perposterous "Axe Effect" for myself.

To test I lowered myself from my palacial villa, and entered one of your "malls." There I randomly selected a male (quite hideous) from amongst the sweating, disgusting, preening, crowd and sprayed him liberally about the face and eyes with "Axe."

Women of questionable lineage did not pounce upon this young man. Not even fat women armed with delicious poundcake. Perhaps, decided Dane Barbados, 'twas his screaming and womanly yelping that kept them away. I silenced him with a thunderous blow to the throatial region and proceeded with the next stage of the Grand Experiment.

The next burn victim look alike I grabbed I made sure to bludgeon him about the throat with my devine hammers before I blinded him with the foul stench of "Tag."...Same result, if anything women fleed his stinking presence even faster.

After I deposited the young man into the nearest trash receptical and made sure that he was suitibly soaked in my warm, yellow, stream of rage I, Dane Barbados Jr., decided to deem the experiment a failure.

I will tell the people. I will tell them that you do not need flowery, feminine, stinking products such as these to attract the females and approach, and be immediately denied, the reproductive act.

All you need is to be Dane Barbados Jr....which you will, of course, will never be fortunate enough to see, though I will permit you to dream.

Remember kids, Dane Barbados Jr. says: Fuck Man Perfume.