Dane Barbados Jr. on: Lindsay Lohan.

I, Dane Barbados Jr., must admit that early in her film career (circa Freaky Friday) that I saw nothing but good things in the future of Lindsay Lohan. Good things including a session a human spumdumpster in my bedchamber.

....As I look at her now I realize that Dane Barbados Jr. must have been hopelessly intoxicated to have ever have felt that way.

Today I see that the starlet-strupmet uttered this oulandish lie:

"I'm not going to deny the fact that I've tried pot. I hated it. But never cocaine. I've seen my father (Michael Lohan). I've seen how it messes families up. If I hadn't had experienced that, I may have gone down a different route. But I've literally seen how it tore my parents apart."

Is Dane Barbados Jr. truly to believe that this young trollop, Lindsay Lohan, could go from a farily attractive, thick young redhead whom Dane Barbados Jr. would spend a few hours making his own to a crypt keepereque bottle blond harlot some Dane Barbados Jr. would spend a few hours using as a human ashtray without the patented Hollywood Diet of semen and cocaine as made famous by such living coathangers as Paris Hilton?

It is to laugh.

I gleefully put forth this invitation to Ms.Lohan: Come to Dane. I will feed you naught but sandwiches aplenty until you are human yet again and widen your birthcanal with repeated carnal excesses before I release you back into the wild with a swift kick to the slats. I shall henceforth misspell her name out of spite.

Remember kids, Dane Barbados Jr. says: Fuck lying assed Lindsay Lohan.

He also says: Hollywood Diet on sale here for bargain basement prices...feel free to inquire!