Saturday, November 11, 2006

Dane Barbados Jr. is human...you all are just subhuman Pt.2

So it took Your Humble five minutes with a folded strip of paper under his finely crafted upper lip to stop the flow of claret from his perfect nostril.

He was off in a flash to his destination.

I picked up my ebony goddess of this particular night, drove to an oft used and familiar, spot and immediately set upon my night's work.

No I did not "skull fuck" this gorgeous damsel nor did I merely satisfy her with the stately rod of Barbados.

No, contrary to popular belief, held amongst troglodytes and cave-dwelling nincompoops Dane Barbados Jr. firmly believes in the concept of sexual equality. Do unto others and all that.

In that spirit of giving there is naught much that Your Humble, Dane Barbados Jr., does share quite possibly his one and only love other than himself: Feasting on a finely made, cleanly shorn, vagina.

Tis truly bliss and a slice of heaven.

As Dane Barbados Jr. is a triple-A class gamesman, cocksman and tonguesman it wasn't long before yon beautiful strumpet was in throes of ecstasy, her hips bucking, her voice undulating in the screams that can only come from the work of I and her vagina uncommonly moist.

It was only later whilst she and I were laying in our shared afterglow a Camel Light poised firmly betwixt my pursed lips did she (not I mind you) realize in the dark of my tinted vehicle that the uncommon wetness of our recent union was not wholly from her womanly dank and the mouth of Barbados.

No, as it turns out a large contingent of said wetness was contributed by a RAGING nosebleed that had occurred whilst I was doing my duty.

Truly you could only imagine her horror. Unfortunately the screams next heard were not of her ecstasy.

Long story characteristically short, as Your Humble was without towels of any measure he offered up his finely tailored dress shirt for the horrified and bloody strumpet to clean herself and drove home, his chiseled physique glistening in the moonlight.

I walking into my house, lower half of my face still covered in a disturbing melange of my claret and her moonflower medicine thinking: "Life is strange. But life is good."

Even Dane Barbados Jr. has moments that you would find embarrassing. He, however, finds it amusing.

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