Dane Barbados Jr. is human...you all are just subhuman Pt.1
For some reason people (and/or peons) espouse numerous and varied idiocies as to who and what your glorious and humble narrator Dane Barbados Jr. is.
First of all only a inbred troglodyte would think that I, the illustrious one, Dane Barbados Jr. is a hater of women. Dane Barbados Jr. loves women. He merely has disdain for silly, stupid, uneducated, whores with no self-esteem. They, much like yourselves, truly deserve what they get.
Also Your Humble is not above the occasional instance of embarrassment it happens to all, even Godlike images of perfection such as yours truly. It so happens that Dane Barbados Jr.'s one Persian flaw, one point of physical imperfection lead to the bit of embarrassment that will henceforth be revealed.
So Dane Barbados Jr. Is a fan of many things. One of those things are beautiful, scantily clad vixens. Another of those things is copulation with beautiful, scantily clad, vixens. Another is fine, large-body, American sedans. Another is administering cunnilingus. The last of importance to this story is copulating and administering cunnilingus with beautiful, scantily clad, vixens whilst inside of a fine, large-body, American sedan.
**A brief aside**
Many things about American females befuddle and infuriate Your Humble, this is not a secret. There are, however, a myriad of things about American males that Dane Barbados Jr. finds endlessly infuriating.
One of these things is the ancient and mysterious art of administering fine cunnilingus.
There are many legitimate mysteries in the history of this planet Earth, the lost art of the kidney punch is one. Bringing a long and lovely lass to a senses shattering orgasm with a few flickings of a deft tongue isn't one.
Dane Barbados Jr. has heard more than a few American men proclaim that they do not "eat the cooch" also that "twats are ugly." Well those same few American men found themselves broken and spat upon, crying for their guttersnipe mothers for uttering such atrocities.
Men routinely expect women to fellate them. 'Tis only just and fair to return the favor with a bit of crotch whistling is it not? Not that every vagine would be suitable for Dane Barbados Jr's face to be lowered into but you are not he...frankly you should take what you can get.
***end of aside***
Dane Barbados Jr. found himself uncharacteristically bored on a Friday night. The time was of the hour of 11 in the PM.
Realizing that boredom on a Friday was wholly unacceptable Dane Barbados Jr.
The remedy for said situation was a simple one. Your Humble had to do little but dial a number and arrange what I believe you here in the 'States call a "booty call."
Above his dedication to excellence, history of violence and love of a finely crafted breast, Dane Barbados Jr. Is even more known for his unerring promptness. He truly hates to be late.
With this in mind it was nothing short of vexing when keys in hand, hand on the doornob Dane Barbados Jr. was assaulted from his one instance of physical imperfection. The dreaded nosebleed.
First of all only a inbred troglodyte would think that I, the illustrious one, Dane Barbados Jr. is a hater of women. Dane Barbados Jr. loves women. He merely has disdain for silly, stupid, uneducated, whores with no self-esteem. They, much like yourselves, truly deserve what they get.
Also Your Humble is not above the occasional instance of embarrassment it happens to all, even Godlike images of perfection such as yours truly. It so happens that Dane Barbados Jr.'s one Persian flaw, one point of physical imperfection lead to the bit of embarrassment that will henceforth be revealed.
So Dane Barbados Jr. Is a fan of many things. One of those things are beautiful, scantily clad vixens. Another of those things is copulation with beautiful, scantily clad, vixens. Another is fine, large-body, American sedans. Another is administering cunnilingus. The last of importance to this story is copulating and administering cunnilingus with beautiful, scantily clad, vixens whilst inside of a fine, large-body, American sedan.
**A brief aside**
Many things about American females befuddle and infuriate Your Humble, this is not a secret. There are, however, a myriad of things about American males that Dane Barbados Jr. finds endlessly infuriating.
One of these things is the ancient and mysterious art of administering fine cunnilingus.
There are many legitimate mysteries in the history of this planet Earth, the lost art of the kidney punch is one. Bringing a long and lovely lass to a senses shattering orgasm with a few flickings of a deft tongue isn't one.
Dane Barbados Jr. has heard more than a few American men proclaim that they do not "eat the cooch" also that "twats are ugly." Well those same few American men found themselves broken and spat upon, crying for their guttersnipe mothers for uttering such atrocities.
Men routinely expect women to fellate them. 'Tis only just and fair to return the favor with a bit of crotch whistling is it not? Not that every vagine would be suitable for Dane Barbados Jr's face to be lowered into but you are not he...frankly you should take what you can get.
***end of aside***
Dane Barbados Jr. found himself uncharacteristically bored on a Friday night. The time was of the hour of 11 in the PM.
Realizing that boredom on a Friday was wholly unacceptable Dane Barbados Jr.
The remedy for said situation was a simple one. Your Humble had to do little but dial a number and arrange what I believe you here in the 'States call a "booty call."
Above his dedication to excellence, history of violence and love of a finely crafted breast, Dane Barbados Jr. Is even more known for his unerring promptness. He truly hates to be late.
With this in mind it was nothing short of vexing when keys in hand, hand on the doornob Dane Barbados Jr. was assaulted from his one instance of physical imperfection. The dreaded nosebleed.
posted by Dane Barbados Jr. at 12:25 AM
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